Dream within a dream

It`s been ages since my last visit here...It`s a miracle I still have this account!
But looks like I`ll be going abroad again, and my experience shows, that there`s nothing like a Grand Tour for a dead virtual life ^_^
Denmark this time.
Anyone from there?...:D
I`ll be back. I need to start packing, I guess...XD

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I need to ask you something, since I feel kinda abandoned when I think about the place, where I'm bound to spend 4 months.
Is there anyone in Tokyo, I mean- among you? O_O
'Cause I don't know anyone there, or, to be frank- in that part of Japan. And yet I'd like to hang out sometimes, explore the city, and doing that alone- is no fun at all. And I won't be so far from the capital, so just let me know, ok?
Gosh....I should start preparing stuff, packing, whatever XD Gotta get a haircut! Iyaaaaaa! *panic-mode*
But I got plenty of new music, prepared for the travel  :] Niah.

I just don't get my family, I don't think it's even possible. All this time, when I was wondering, whether I would be going to Japan this year or not, my family was all "Eyes on the prize, Violet!". Think about your future, your bills, your duties.
Now that I go- I hear one, crucial word, that should NEVER appear in a matter like this.
PROBLEM.
It's gonna be a problem. My cat is gonna be a problem; so will be moving out without me to pack all my things.  All the fuss with going abroad so soon after coming home- will be a problem too, with me being all cranky and weak.
Argh, sod it.
I'm going to Japan in two weeks :D I find it...a bit comforting, and I shall celebrate the news tomorrow, in the Opera. My  favorite Bizet's piece, "Les Pêcheurs de perles", with a sweet "Je crois entende", that always makes me cry.
...
Now that's a way to celebrate, not a word -_-'  Ah, well, it's a beautiful kind of tear :) However, I don't think there has been an arrangement of that aria more beautiful, than the one in "The man who cried" with Christina Ricci and Johnny Depp.
Oh, I think I'll add it here, since I like sir Henry as well, and this one is just beautiful,
http://pl.youtube.com/watch?v=AGxb8EGBiH4

  It's not only because of what my friend Abbie wrote the other day. Also not because of the fact, that a guy, whom I thought I knew well, turned out to be a writer; and he's in the middle of his third novel. Also the fact, that one of my dearest friends, that will remain a mysterious H. here, got the second volume of her art published.
It's all of those things. And the fact, that I know nothing about my future, my plans a week from now.... I just- DON'T KNOW.
And I can't do anything.
Except from listening to people, who congratulate me on the new, promising and fruit-bringing course of my life. But is it really the course, that I wanted?...
Or am I just being lazy? Maybe I am actually very well prepared to live my life NOW, not- "someday". But then- what about my living; my apartment; my earnings; blah blah. Gods... I need a liquor XD
Maybe it's only a typical, spring-time frustration: you can feel the fresh air, and blood is running faster in your veins, only- there's no way you can let the feeling of power and creativity flow, since you don't know, what your future ( of a very near future) whereabouts may be.
Can I make a late new-year's vow?
I will accomplish something really important for me this year. And this is official now. >_<

Stolen from Dusk_in_dendera :D 
Today I got a card with Mahoroba-style Kiriyan on it, and I`m ridiculously happy about that :D

Yesterday`s D&D session proved to be one of the most violent I`ve played so far. It ended up with one player leaving furiously, and the rest of us- debating with great ferocity.
Yet, to my astonishment, I`m not agitated with that scene, not even the slightest. Which is rather unusual- normally I`d be really stirred by the whole event. But recently I`m not loosing control that easily ( which is good), I also do not get involved emotionally into lot of things (which my be not so good :/ ).
For example, someone constantly offending me on the internet- I just don`t care about that person, why should I take any note of her words?
Well, of course, I`d like the session to continue, but only after everyone calm down. After all- it`s just a game. It`s so easy to forget about that simple fact.

Yesterday I went to see `Phantom of the Opera` in Poznan`s Music Theater.
It`s been a long time since I last went to a theater that small. As if I was watching some school academy- no space for voices to flow, to spread in a powerful blast (my lucky ears :P ) The main role, and his father- what voices they were!
Only- the Father, apart from being a great singer, was also a good actor.
The rest- on the contrary, played rather poorly: forgetting to move while being in the background, or showing emotions so false!....that you just couldn`t believe their stage characters are more real, than the poster.
And I can`t understand the reason! Even in the opera, where singing is most important talent, people are actually acting, no problem there, at all!
Here....well, enough said, I was greatly disappointed. Especially with parts where  Phantom was talking.
Singing Phantom was one really scary man; talking Phantom was a scared little boy with mother complex. Argh, such a difference couldn`t go unnoticed, and without living some dissonance!
However, he saved his part in the final scene, when he`s screaming to his father. Yes, well- I was moved to tears ^_^`
And yet...
I want to go to the Music Theater in Gdynia. This big scene; great acoustics; and a great acting- that is something I just need to feel from the stage to know, that there was some real story going on :)

For some complicated reasons, I`m feeling painfully lonely and abandoned.
It will pass, I know, but for now I just would like to be with people.
Well, not just `any` people, but those, with whom I feel safe.
It will remain a mystery even to me- WHY do I feel insecure.
And tomorrow I have a little chat, and a little test, for I`m applying for a job. Yaay~ There`s nothing like a mensetsu to scare the spleen away -_-`

....I guess listening to some gloomy ambient tunes is not the best of ideas, is it....>_<

Oki-doke! Pictures are in :D I`ve managed to split gallery into the main one- and the sub-gallery, DO NOT ask me, how did I  do it, or for what reason.-_-`
Ii just happened XD
Now I`m going to sleep, I also should start packing, for on Sunday my great quest to Poznan= new place=maybe new job-> begins XD Cheerio!

...trick or treat in a dead od night ]:D
I`m almost ready for the party- my outfit is most spectacular, for I`ll be a vampire countess, in a worm-eaten crinoline *_*
Sweet. I only  regret not buying some of those whitening cosmetics while I was still in Japan. Ah, well- not that I`m not deadly white anyway :/
Do you like it? Cosplays and such?
I love them. I love masks, costumes, make-ups, that change you into someone totally different. I don`t mind walking the street while wearing Zorro`s mask, or adding something unusual to my everyday look- as long as it`s a `mask` and acting all along- I don`t feel embarrassed with it. Because it`s not me - it`s Zorro (for instance) Or a witch. Could also be a gangsta, or the Corpse Bride.
When I walk the street wearing such a new identity, I feel, that only then I`ve domesticated the city. Streets are my scene, and my playground.
Have you ever felt this utter freedom of a street performer?
I have :D It`s great

I know I haven`t been writing here for a while, but it`s been a week since I got back from Japan, and believe me- world and time are not working in the same way everywhere.
I mean- everybody here seem to have stopped on the corner of time, while I was gone, and started moving again only now, when I got back.
Really, nothing seems to have changed. It`s so....frustrating, especially when they expect me to fit in smoothly to the engine of everyday life, as if nothing has happened between me getting on the plane, and me- getting off. Well, I can`t do that. I`m lost here.
I can feel my lungs shrinking and suffocating, and my mind going down in spirals.
Roger Waters, sir, do you mind if I use your words?
`What do you want from me?!...`
Just let me sleep, let me dream.

I must say, that my last day in Takarazuka was...perfect.
I came there early enough to have one last (unbelievably expensive -_-`) cup of coffee in Mahora, also to make last shopping in QR, breathe in the atmosphere, and not to feel sorry or being torn to pieces -_-` . Actually, I was moving as if within a dream- everything was mild, soft and not exactly real.
Especially the fact, that I had a ticket to Osa-san`s taidan play in my hand.
I got it via Misuzu Aki`s FC, which is really great,  since I love her dearly, and yesterday she`s proved (to those few, who didn`t know that yet :P ) that she is the most powerful, most beautiful voice of Takarazuka at the moment.  I could listen to her singing for hours and hours...*_* And she was given few really good songs in both play and the show.
`Adieu Marseilles` is a good play. Great music and choreography ( hot stuff, cold shower needed), also- absolutely fantastic Matobu Sei. I didn`t know, she is such a grat comedian! She was so good, that only has she appeared on the stage- people were laughing, because all her posture was saying, she is up to SOMETHING. And the scene with drunk Simon, singing about being a rich man...XD Love it, laughed like hell!
Osa-san....it was not a dominating main role ( does i sound a bit... paradoxically? o_O ), but moving. When she sung the last `Adieu..`, there was sobbing all over the theater. Damn, I myself had strangely blurred vision :P

The show, `Love Symphony`....Again- music: fantastic. If only they were dancing to it -_-`
No, seriously: there was no dancing; only lazy walking here and there, with few gymnastic  poses from time to time. Or, when some gorgeous, Spanish-like bit began, and both top`s started dancing together- but suddenly Osa was left alone.
So what could she do?
Some more walking and gymnastic. -_-`
Wasted potential.
Btw- IMO the way that Osa always dances with Ayane is the hottest among all the top star pairs. I mean- it`s not even dancing what they`re doing; what ARE they doing??? (cold shower again) :P

You're on my friends list. I'd like to know 27 things about you. Just copy and hit reply and paste in the comments section with answers. Thanks! You'll be surprised how much you didn't know about your friends after this! Then copy the meme and see if anyone answers you.



1. Do you have a tattoo?
2. How old are you?
3. Are you single or taken?
4. Fish?
5. Do you dream in color?
6. Do you have any recurring dreams?
7. How about them hipsters?
8. How did we meet?
9. What's your philosophy on life and death?
10. If you could do anything with me, what would it be?
11. What's your favorite guilty pleasure?
12. Do you like musicals?
13. What is your fondest memory of me?
14. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?
15. If you could close your eyes and be transported anywhere in the world, where would it be?
16. What are you wearing?
17. Have you ever gone swimming after dark?
18. Have you ever sung in public?
19. If we had one day to hang out together, what would we do?
20. Which do you prefer - short or long hair?
21. What's your favorite day of the week?
22. What's your favorite color?
23. What's your favorite period in history?
24. Tell me one interesting/odd fact about you.
25. How many pets do you have right now?
26. What was your first impression of me?
27. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?

On the first day of TCA  I was lurking, watching, waiting, hunting- but I didn`t get a ticket.
That was quite an impossible task, so no surprise there, still- I was greatly disappointed. Nonetheless, I went to the demachi, since I`ve never seen such an  event before, and I was wondering- how would it be different from everyday`s demachi..
Well- it WAS different, a lot. O_O
Hundreds od people; huge crowd. I could almost feel lucky not to have been able to go to the TCA, because thanks to this I could go earlier to gakuya, and pick a good place. Soon- once the show was over-  I was not able to move.

I`ll never forget, what did Osa`s fans do, when she came out. Elvis might have felt jealous, had he heard this hysteria *_*
Euphoric wave went through all the gathered funclubs, and in the end it was not only Osa`s FC, that went completely crazy.
Amazing.

Yet the most amazing, and unbelievable thing is, that I`m going to see `Adieu Marseille`. *_*
I didn`t dare to hope,  after the TCA`s ticket failure. But now it`s a fact.
 I just have to start treating it as such. *_*
Muaaaa........*_______*

At the beginning of my life in the FC I couldn`t quite understand, why on earth are they (= other members) so precise when it comes to describing, what was Kiriyan wearing, how did she look, wink, turn, and what was Finch wearing, too. -_-` Isn`t it all about the performance, after all?... I thought.
Kind of....overdone.- I thought again.
But then, there was this Kiriyan-kai, for 6 man, and since I couldn`t be there ( not a chance...-_-`), I asked for a detailed report :D
And I got it.
Detailed to the point of how did Kiriyan`s collarbone contrasted with her white, not-so-low-cut-shirt. -_-`

But the best part is that: without those details I would be greatly disappointed with my correspondents.
Ok, time to go, stand-by is at 7pm :P

Most of the people would tell me it`s nothing, but then- `nothing` is something as individual, as god(s) one believe in.
It can be a powerful totem; or just a garbage, something to utilize in the fire.
For me this autograph from Kiriyan is....not just precious. It`s not about the sign, few strokes of the pen on the paper.
It`s the fact, that SHE wrote it. With the dedication and all- for me.
Gods, this is madness, and I know it!.. And yet- I simply cannot think of it lightly. As if it was-----nothing.
Because I remember her face, when she got out of the car this morning and saw me, standing in the line as the first one. And the big grin on her face, very...genuine. :)
Okay, time for the cold shower, c u guys :D

Recently into musicals again. Actually it`s `Jekyll & Hyde` I`m talking about here, because I watched it last night ( can`t sleep anyway, it`s too hot)
And I`m in love ( again). With few voices, both male (again) and female. I always find it very unfair, that in Poland one can watch musicals in three cities only; well- maybe four, sometimes Gdansk joins the Club of Three: Warsaw, Poznan, Gdynia.
I wish I could somehow post here the song `Dangerous game` by Linda Eder and Robert Cuccioli- they sing beautifully.
However, I must say I was very astonished, watching `J & H` with D. Hasselhoff, who actually did a good job.
Really!
What a surprise...No sunshine or orange lycra, just a good performance. I didn`t believe he could make a convincing Jekyll, I mean- he is NOT British. But- there you go :P
Anyway- beautiful, and Lucy`s voice (Andrea Rivette) is just perfect *_*
Still- I wish I could watch the whole thing with Eder and Cuccioli or Warlow.
Not in Poland anytime soon, for sure -_-`

Ok.
I have no friggin` idea, where to get icons from. Searching by `interests` shows me a site FULL of different addresses, not necessarily full of icons,
I`m lost.
Help?...:/

I`m sorry I couldn`t reply to all those nice welcome words I received, but that`s some higher Vista cabala I didn`t fathom yet.
Anyway-  thank you, and wish me luck, for today I`m gonna try to get a ticket to Tsuki Gumi Shinjinkoen.
Task seems impossible to accomplish: There will be Asako, there will be Kiriyan, sitting in the audience; crowds will be unimaginable...
Got to get in there!